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 Secret Empire #0: *Whispers* Hail Events
Kaiolino
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 06:09 AM
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#ILoveRogue
Posts: 9523




- Japan, 1945: Captain Hydra meets with the Kraken
- Kraken takes Steve to some weirdass temple where all Hydra’s power comes from
- If you watched the documentary “Indiana Jones” you know these people always have had a thing for the occult
- A grampa predicts the future, saying the Cosmic Cube will alter reality to one where the Allies won WWII, the Cube will one day become Kobik, be exploited by the Red Skull and then turn Steve (back?) into Hydra Cap
- Steve is dropped into a pool that will protect him from the Cosmic Cube reality altering
- He is shocked when the last thing he sees is him leading the Avengers
- Yeah, I’d hate to see my future involve the Avengers as well
- A narrator mentions how constant in-fighting and corruption led to the people just giving more and more power to a demagogue
- (It’s a metaphor)
- There’s three world-ending threats going on
- The first is the Chitauri invasion, which is bigger than the Annihilation Wave. DEAL WITH IT
- The planetary defense shield AKA “The Wall” was destroyed by a HYDRA suicide bomber
- Yeah, this happened in Cap #16. Sorry, Marvel cares about continuity now
- Captain Marvel (still the character with the most fascist credentials in this story) leads the Ultimates and Guardians into a fight with the Chitauri
- Riri and Iron Man AKA the Tony back-up (I assume) are fixing the shield
- Midtown Manhattan is being invaded by Pleasant Hill people
- Luke Cage leads the Defenders into battle
- Please go read that show and watch that book
- The third big crisis is that Hydra has taken control of Sokovia and is threatening to launch nukes
- SHIELD is sending a gazillion helicarriers to stop that one
- The narrator says that being pulled apart like this while already being divided is what led to them being overwhelmed, overrun and betrayed
- The Quippers of the Galaxy make a lot of jokes because that’s the only thing they do these days
- Hyperion and Quasar get beaten, meaning all hope is lost
- Riri and Tony still haven’t fixed the shield
- Meanwhile the Defenders aren’t doing so hot either
- Nitro uses an old classic: explode in the middle of the city
- The Sec of Defense calls to say America is now under the state of emergency and as a result, Steve is now acting commander in chief
- Which still makes me feel safer than the ACTUAL commander in chief
- Who btw is has been moved to a secure location
- It’s just Mar-A-Lago again I bet
- The narrator says that this was the end for them because they compromised everything they believed in in the name of fear
- JUST LIKE WITH HITLER I KNEW IT HYDRA CAP IS A NAZI MARVEL IS A NAZI TRIIGGERED OFFENDED HOW COULD THEY THIS IS NAZI PROPAGANDA NICK SPENCER NEEDS TO PUNCHED IN THE FACE BECAUSE HE LOVES NAZIS I WILL NEVER READ MARVEL AGAIN ONLY SQUIRREL GIRL
- *cough* sorry
- Captain America does one of his better motivational speeches
- It’s actually quite hardbreaking knowing that he’s a plant
- Tony and Riri get the shield fixed and it becomes operational again
- Meanwhile, the Uncanny Avengers and Doctor Strange arrive at the Defenders’ battle
- Acuna drawing Wasp and Rogue gives me horrid flashbacks of Remender’s trashfire run
- Anyway, they also beat their opponents
- However, the main SHIELD helicarrier is rammed by another Helicarrier containing HYDRA soldiers and they are quickly overrun
- Doctor Faustus is sending a message for SHIELD soldiers to stand down
- Steve tells Sharon to trust him and that he loves her
- He then tells HYDRA to stand down and they salute him
- Sharon realizes what’s up and loses her shit, but she’s taken away
- Riri and Tony realize some weird shit is up with the shield, that it was manually turned down and turned up again by some third entity to create some kind of distraction
- It’s all very complex tbh. I’m not used to smart Marvel events. Can we get a hero fighting a hero plz?
- Ooooo, the reason was to put all Marvel’s cosmic characters outside of Earth with no way for them to return
- Steve calls Carol to tell her she and Maria fell right into his trap with their dumb shield
- The first objective, exile through the planetary defense shield, has been accomplished
- Hurray! No Carol in this event! HAIL HYDRA!
- Zemo is hanging out with Bob of Hydra AKA Blackout
- The second objective, isolate NYC and all its heroes in the darkside dimension, has been accomplished
- Some sad narration about how the place where heroes soar is now soaked in darkness
- And the X-Men really picked the worst time to emigrate to Central Park
- The only heroes left are the mainline Avengers and the Champions
- The Earth is doomed
- Stage three, HYDRA takeover of Washington DC, is underway!
- TO BE CONTINUED
- Sorry if this recap sucked, but this was a good, tense, exciting book. Even though we know Cap will take over, it was still great to see his plan be put in motion. Sadly, it’s difficult to make jokes and mock in a good book.
- HAIL SPENCER!
- Who sadly will be blacklisted if this event fails, if the comics industry chatter is to be believed
- Fuck the snowflake outrage
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AgentFelix
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 06:15 AM
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Damn. I might start carryin' beans.
Posts: 2851




"Don't forget to buy Champions while you're at it"
-Marvel
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 09:53 AM
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Moderator
Posts: 2791




An intelligently-written Marvel event? Can it be?

Only one issue in, but it seems... promising.

Were the X-Men actually shown/mentioned? Or, was that just your observation (RE: Moving into Central Park as all of this goes down)?
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Kaiolino
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 09:57 AM
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#ILoveRogue
Posts: 9523




That was just my observation. I assume the X-Men Gold tie-in will go into more detail on what's going on with them.
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TheMajinoaw
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 01:11 PM
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Newbie
Posts: 6




QUOTE (Filthy Mutie @ Apr 19 2017, 12:53 PM)
An intelligently-written Marvel event? Can it be?

Only one issue in, but it seems... promising.

Were the X-Men actually shown/mentioned? Or, was that just your observation (RE: Moving into Central Park as all of this goes down)?


Should I be mad or flattered that Nick Spencer pretty much copied my Caps Ethics Threads for this storyline. I practically handed them the whole template for this story through my detailed list of Cap's corruption!
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: Apr 19 2017, 04:32 PM
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Moderator
Posts: 2791




QUOTE (TheMajinoaw @ Apr 19 2017, 04:11 PM)
QUOTE (Filthy Mutie @ Apr 19 2017, 12:53 PM)
An intelligently-written Marvel event? Can it be?

Only one issue in, but it seems... promising.

Were the X-Men actually shown/mentioned? Or, was that just your observation (RE: Moving into Central Park as all of this goes down)?


Should I be mad or flattered that Nick Spencer pretty much copied my Caps Ethics Threads for this storyline. I practically handed them the whole template for this story through my detailed list of Cap's corruption!


I was hoping I'd see you comment on this.

Both. They desperately needed a win, so they reached for a good idea from a dedicated fan. Unfortunately, you'll only be compensated credit by X-Books posters not of the Ilk and (maybe, depending on your feelings) pride in yourself.
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Kaiolino
 Posted: Apr 20 2017, 06:19 AM
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#ILoveRogue
Posts: 9523




QUOTE (Filthy Mutie @ Apr 20 2017, 02:32 AM)
They desperately needed a win, so they reached for a good idea from a dedicated fan.


If critics like Andrew Wheeler and Kieran Shiach are to be believed, this isn't just a bad idea, but it is one of the most offensive things ever put on paper. And is somehow also responsible for Marvel's poor sales lately.
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: Apr 20 2017, 09:19 AM
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Moderator
Posts: 2791




QUOTE (Kaiolino @ Apr 20 2017, 09:19 AM)
QUOTE (Filthy Mutie @ Apr 20 2017, 02:32 AM)
They desperately needed a win, so they reached for a good idea from a dedicated fan.


If critics like Andrew Wheeler and Kieran Shiach are to be believed, this isn't just a bad idea, but it is one of the most offensive things ever put on paper. And is somehow also responsible for Marvel's poor sales lately.

Those two are as loud as they are irrelevant.

People are definitely being trolled here. It's Marvel. But, the true fallout of this, and whether "Captain America is really a Nazi/the Third Reich actually won the war" is an offensive idea, depends on how the event plays out and is resolved. Something tells me not all the information is out on the table, and that the powers of heroism and good will prevail.

All that aside, I do think Spencer can be (or is?) a bit of an ass. But, I'm not sure how much that figures into this Secret Empire story.
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Supernature
 Posted: Apr 20 2017, 12:19 PM
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Superior Homo
Posts: 1972




I hate how much Acuña's art has deteriorated.

He is (used to be?) one of my faves but his art looks ROUGH in this...
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: Apr 20 2017, 01:09 PM
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Moderator
Posts: 2791




Reminds me of the decline of Marvel's Cassaday.
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