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 Secret Empire #1: The Plot Against America
Kaiolino
 Posted: May 3 2017, 06:11 AM
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#ILoveRogue
Posts: 9951




- We open with a quaint scene of a kid being indoctrinated in school with HYDRA ideology
- The books where Erskine invented the super soldier serum have been burned
- Arnim Zola is now the creator
- ~Fascism~
- They are taught about “The Great Illusion”: the crime against humanity known as using a Cosmic Cube to make the Allies win the war
- ~~Fascism~~
- Kids are also learned to A) Trust authority B) Punish weakness and C) Report threats
- ~~~Fascism~~~
- One of the kids’ brother is tattled on and he is arrested for being a Shithuman
- Good riddance
- Carol, who is still stuck in space, tells the people of Earth to #Resist in a speech
- Some kid is being chased down the streets by Hydra forces, but is saved by a variety of diverse legacy heroes
- Let’s take a moment to realize that this series where a bunch of minority heroes save the world from fascism is been billed as “Nazi sympathizing propaganda” by the loony left
- The kid who was chased is the new Patriot btw spoilers
- But you’re not supposed to know that yet
- In Denver, Cap reasons with a dinosaur: either he leaves and lives or stays and dies
- He chooses the latter
- Cap assembles the Glorious Hydravengers: Odinson, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Deadpool, Superior Octopus, Taskmaster and Black Ant
- Good to see that after years of arguing, not only was I proven right in Cap being a fascist, but also Scarlet Witch
- Anyway they kill the shit out of the dinosaur
- On the news, we learn that violent crime is down 75% since the Hydra takeover, stock markets do great thanks to stimulus spending and there’s tons of public works programs creating new jobs
- Also TPP is signed with Madripoor
- Finally there is now a Day of Reckoning to celebrate peope dying in front of firing squads
- yaaay fascism
- Doktor Faustus is polluting the water with mind control crap
- Probably still better than the water in Flint
- California has seceded and become the mutants’ sovereign nation of New Tian
- Meanwhile, Inhumans are locked up in concentration camps
- Everything’s coming up roses! HAIL HYDRA!
- Some are worried about the superhero resistance movement building
- Cap wants to be soft on them, but his fellow commanders say that is bad fascism
- The resistance movement is lead by Black Widow, Hawkeye (M) and Thing
- The kid they saved, Rayshaun has Selvig files from Rick Jones, which could help win the war
- Steve is having dinner with Sharon. He says he loves her but she calls him a fascist terrorist
- Story of my life
- Steve visits Rick Jones in his prison cell
- Rick refuses to tell Steve what happened to the stolen files or say Hail Hydra
- Rick Jones is a jerk
- Who doesn't love to say Hail Hydra?
- Rick also says he believes the real Steve will overcome this
- spoiler
- Rayshaun brings the stolen files to the Tony Stark AI, who doesn’t give a shit about them
- Tony is depressed because BFF is a fascist and now all heroes are fugitives
- Reminds me of that time Tony was a fascist and all heroes were fugitives
- Black Widow and Hawkeye are a couple now I guess
- Steve has a talk with Madame Hydra who tells him he needs to find the Cosmic Cube and “restore” the world to the one where the Axis won, as well as show his commanders up in a show of force
- Steve gives a speech, which we don’t hear but the voiceover tells us everyone remembers because it was a rock bottom moment
- Rick Jones is put in front of a firing squad and is shot while shouting “Avengers Assemble”
- Hydra Helicarriers destroy a populated city
- “This was where their empire began”
- To be continued
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: May 3 2017, 10:14 AM
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Moderator
Posts: 2936




New Tian. Fuckin' A.

The only surprise member of Hydravengers was Deadpool, TBH. I wonder if he's a plant.
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Satan
 Posted: May 3 2017, 10:30 AM
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frostitute
Posts: 1820




user posted image

Where's Auntie Emma?
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Filthy Mutie
 Posted: May 3 2017, 10:40 AM
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Moderator
Posts: 2936




On the left - is that Magneto in street clothes (see X-Men: Blue), Old Man Gambit (see: Astonishing X-Men cover), or Nate Grey (loljk)?
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Kaiolino
 Posted: May 3 2017, 10:44 AM
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#ILoveRogue
Posts: 9951




It can't be Magneto because he's "dead".
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Satan
 Posted: May 3 2017, 10:52 AM
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frostitute
Posts: 1820




Yes, WE know that, but does Marvel editorial care for the continuity when it's in the way of epic story? The answer is probably NO.
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jarrod
 Posted: May 3 2017, 11:01 AM
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cum ninja
Posts: 3646




QUOTE (Satan @ May 3 2017, 01:30 PM)
user posted image

Where's Auntie Emma?

She's either in the Xorn mask or offpanel pegging Havok.
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Satan
 Posted: May 4 2017, 11:25 AM
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frostitute
Posts: 1820




QUOTE (jarrod @ May 3 2017, 11:01 AM)
She's either in the Xorn mask or offpanel pegging Havok.


Alexander, show a little enthusiasm and lift your pelvis up.
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AgentFelix
 Posted: May 4 2017, 11:44 AM
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Damn. I might start carryin' beans.
Posts: 3047




QUOTE (Satan @ May 3 2017, 02:52 PM)
Yes, WE know that, but does Marvel editorial care for the continuity when it's in the way of epic story? The answer is probably NO.


RIP me
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Satan
 Posted: May 4 2017, 11:50 AM
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frostitute
Posts: 1820




Have fun being dead, AgentPhoeniX.
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